Monday, November 20, 2006
Dear Diary,
dat day in e bus i tot he was mubbling smth i heard he ask for a break-up den ltr i ask him back to confirm... i think we had a mis-understanding... he tot i was angry but i was totally break down... i nearly killed myself in front of him... Y?
yesterday was my worst day eva... nic ask mi for a break... he was confuse becoz of e question i ask him... at nite before my diner... i msg him whether he wan a morning cal 2day... he said anything lo... i was knew wat he was thinking aready... DAT QUESTION... i couldnt believe he still thinking of DAT QUESTION... i told him if u were o think of DAT QUESTION i wil kil myself... all i could think of was to kil myself... i'm heart broken... i want2 cry out loud but i cant my family were beside mi... i have to put up a face... indeed i ate very little dat nite... i msg jean n told her about it...on our way back hm i felt sick... wen i got off e car i rush to e toilet... i vomit my diner out... i cry a little... den jean call i answered in tears... but we end quite fast... den i slp very early... i cried n cried... i couldnt take it anymore... i ask jean to talk to mi... but she ask mi to slp early n she even supported mi to die at hm... coz i was coughing badly... we hang-up... i cry even more... hoping dat he was there hugging mi... but no...
2day...
i didnt slept well thur e nite stil thinking or him... i dreamt he was drifting further n further away frm mi... i couldnt find him... i didnt went to skol... 1 reason, i'm sick 2, i dun feel like... if i would i wil b jumping off e buliding... or banging walls till i bleed or fratured my bones... i call him ltr... n ask him about wat was he confuse about... he say becoz of DAT QUESTION... i straight away told him... i going to die n hang-up... n off my hp... i on back again... he call around 4times... i didnt pick up... i cry again... i tot dat he was my 1 n only last... but y mus u do dis to mi... he msg i got e answer... aniwae i have made my choice n i wan2 b wif u... i was like thinking... ARE U PLAYING MI??? IS DIS A GAME? WAT M I SUSPPOSE TO DO? LAUGH? Y? Y? i dunoe wat2 do nw... den marni cal... i told her asking her for advise... she say he's not worth it... jean told mi e same ting... but in my mind heart soul HE IS E 1.... he is e 1 i'm looking for... but y mus he do dis to mi...
I'M SO CONFUSE... o(T Q T)o
HUBBY WHR R U? I MIZ U? PLS DUN LEAVE MI? U R E 1 I ONLY HAVE...
